Trendy Friend (TF) owns a salon here in London and is thinking about making some changes. Ironically, I am considering getting involved in a beauty business (maybe!), so when TF told me about Salon International, I thought I should go have a crash course. Besides, despite how many goals C1 may score this weekend, there is probably no topping last week’s match with THAT dad around, so I’m headed to ExCel London Exhibition and Convention Centre…
Okay, so Central Line to Stratford, Jubilee Line to Canning Town and Beckton bound DLR (Docklands Light Railway) to Prince Regent gets me to ExCel East and into Salon International.
Thankfully, the DLR conductor informed his passengers to get off at ‘East’ for Salon International, or I would still be walking around Custom House for ExCel West right now. I have been here once before (full disclosure), but it was for a BOAT show, that CSr (Daaad) wanted to go to and C2 was still a baby. I therefore have absolutely no recollection of where I was as I still suffered from new baby blur, more commonly known as Baby Brain.
Baby blur strikes when you least expect it, but you wouldn’t remember anyway. You may attend an event or party seemingly 100% present, but really only 2% of you is aware of what is going on. The rest? Well, I don’t remember what the rest is doing quite frankly but even the 2% is gone in a day or so and then you have no recollection of it AT ALL…EVER! For those greatly afflicted such as myself, it is completely gone in a matter of minutes. So how could I possibly remember that boat show anyway? But I digress…
Oh right…hair and make-up. So, I am here and on a mission to learn all that I can, about what I am not sure, but I AM SURE that I am here. I hand over my ticket and ask for a floor plan, even though I don’t know what I’m looking for. I think it must be a subconscious urge to just avoid going any further. I take a few steps into the cavernous hall and realize that I probably should have at least made an effort with my own hair and make up today.
I wonder if I look as wide-eyed and gaped mouth as I now feel but I manage to scurry along past a rather creative? brilliant? CRAZY?!?!? hairstyle to pretend to buy something…ANYTHING…just as long as it looks remotely familiar and isn’t moving. And yes that is a hairdryer attached to her hair in the front and a curling brush attached in the back.
Okay, here is something I have at least heard of…and the sales rep looks like an Earthling, so I buy a couple of Tangle Teasers for C* and PP. They are bright and light and easy and popular now and at 1/3 of the retail price (apparently), C* and PP will love it.
Although, upon closer inspection, they also look a bit alien and not very friendly, but what do I know.
I can’t help but giggle that right next to Tangle Teaser, who’s tagline is ‘Cares for the Hair you Wear’ is this…
Sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be caring for that hair or wearing THAT HAIR any time soon. Is that display creepy or is it just me? Geesh, am I clueless in this industry or WHAT?!?
Walking around a bit more, along the side aisles now, away from the masses, I learn about a lovely Italian product called My.Organics and I buy a few bottles to try.
I also see A LOT of people buying Moroccan Oil and that does not come as a surprise as even I know about this one. Made from Argan Oil, Moroccan Oil was started by a Chilean, Israeli business woman and they now produce something like 150,000 bottles a day. That’s a lot of goat’s sh*t in a day but I am sure Israeli technology has worked out how to harvest directly from the trees and have left the poor goats alone by now. Right? Probably…
Moving along, I see A LOT of laser teeth whitening stands and they are the busiest stands of all. They are all packed. Seriously? There are rows of people just sitting there with goggles on and with bright blue lasers beaming into their mouths. I wonder what would happen if Pinky and her Blowdryer from earlier, sat in front of the Blue Laser…
TF arrives Thank God and I must look either a)overwhelmed, b)like a pasty 40 something year old with no hair OR make-up products on or c)both, because TF immediately suggests we go sit down and have a coffee. TF looks ready for a night out at London’s chicest and most fashionable spots…GORGEOUS, so TF surely must want to dispose of me before ANYONE in the industry that TF knows appears and sees ME.
Now I am sure I need something stronger than coffee but it will have to do…for now. TF tells me some stories about TF’s own training, some of the industry professionals and histories and I’m finally starting to enjoy myself. The stories, the relationships, the business…THAT I can get my head around. The rest of the industry? The products and the vanity? Hmmm…not so sure.
But then again, maybe I’ll suffer from a latent recurrence of Baby blur. Maybe…just maybe in a few minutes I won’t have ANY recollection of my being here and any new business idea will be forgotten. Hmmm…now how do I get out of here?
In this version, PRE-hangover remedy
Get home quickly
Grab a drink …any drink…and
Drink to Forget