Apologies if you think I am telling you anything that you don’t already know about Prince William and Kate’s new baby boy… I’m not. Of course I wish them all the love and happiness in the world and as a mother, I wish ALL mothers all the love, HEALTH and happiness in the world…but at the moment, I’m thinking about St. Tropez, and specifically dancing at Les Caves du Roy…
St. Tropez is fantasy land where I come from (or where ANYONE comes from most likely). Les Caves du Roy is a dancing institution in St. Tropez and is probably one of THE hottest and chicest clubs in the world.
So…for me, dancing at the King’s Cave or the King’s Mines… loosely translated of course…is a royal treat.
Fancy (Reel Deals) celebrated her birthday there last weekend and I met her Fancier and Fanciest friends. We got to know each other quickly on the helicopter …seriously – how BLING is that and as if that is EVER going to happen again!!!
… and then we settled in (all 20 of us) for an intimate lunch at Le Club 55.
I wouldn’t normally elaborate on how wonderful food is (because LondonLatte is not really about food now is it), when there is so much wine around but… lunch was divine. Tree barks of crudite were served,
cantaloupe melon that melted in your mouth accompanied with (by) parma ham, and a final course of flaky yet plump, sea bass with fresh lemon juice and sea salt. DELISH FISH!!! I can’t imagine a more indulgent day with old and new friends, exquisite fish by the sea, and by the way…barefoot!
Before dessert, I managed to have a long chat with Brands, Art and Media Mate (BAM), who is a dear friend and, whose opinion I value greatly..normally. BAM thinks I need to appeal more to male readers. BAM then suggested that I change LondonLatte to some sort of ‘Anti Kim Kardashian‘ name to perhaps capture the interest of some of her ‘non’ followers.
Apparently 18 million people follow KK! Let’s just compare that to Obama’s 34mn and Save the Children’s 670k…oh, and my 12. SERIOUSLY? Crazy. But, ummm, no. Even IF her father is third generation Armenian-American and I have yet to address my profound respect for my dearest and most wonderful erudite Armenian-British friend, I still am NOT interested. (Note to N…see how I worked you in there already now!)
Back to lunch, Skinny Hot Alternative Gal (SHAG) then suggested we would not be able to swim after such a fine meal and always thinking, BAM then thought of another name. I’m not sure I can even write this one down. Okay, sorry everyone but BAM then introduced me to the word ‘GUNT’ and recommended writing about a phantom (presumably?!?) Gunt Club.
PARDONNE MOI …EXCUSE EM MOI …LE’ WTF ???????????????
Am I the ONLY one that has never heard this word before???
DO NOT ANSWER THAT. Please…it is not a word I EVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN…and certainly NOT while I am having the most glamorously relaxed afternoon at one of the chicest beach restaurants in the world and having eaten enough food to last me through September. Really BAM…
I’m not sure if Fancy overheard any of this or as with most meals in my life these days, someone needed to dance…shame French wasn’t with us this time around, especially as we were in her country (Eat ‘n Mess). Fancy though decided to dance ON TOP OF THE TABLE. Seriously. And this was JUST LUNCH! We weren’t even at Les Caves yet.
I’m thinking of getting in touch with Ali Spagnola to launch a Rosé Rap or Wine Weekend USB. Forget Power Hour. If she can cater to university students drinking a shot of beer during her (OWN) songs every minute for an hour AND design a product AND provide the artwork for it, then I think Ali and BAM and Fancy could corner St. Tropez…Ali and BAM TROpezienne show…with expansion plans in Ibiza next year, but I digress.
A few espressos later, a swim in the sea and we carried on drinking, dancing and celebrating through to a respectable hour…in some country further West probably.
Back to reality in London (not Kim Kardashian’s house), I just picked up C1 and C2 from Grandma’s house. (Thank you Grandma!)…on the hottest day on record since 2004, from what I heard on Capital FM and confirmed on what is clearly not a helicopter dashboard…31 degrees Celsius…and my car has no air conditioning in it …seriously…in 30 degree heat. (That is about 90 degrees Farenheit…but probably not hotter than a mine, or a cave or even Les Caves on a Saturday night). I don’t normally listen to Capital but after a night at Les Caves, I needed a beat.
So with the windows down, driving along the A3 (it’s a bit more like Northern State than the L.I.E.), I am blasting Capital FM (500,000 followers apparently), and reminiscing about what I was doing 24 hours ago. C2 has fallen asleep immediately. C1 however, keeps commenting upon and criticizing the music. On a scale of 1 to 10, in the past hour I have only heard C1 give that Swedish techno pop song a ‘5’. Really? I thought I was in touch with my kids’ music.
As we approach our house, what I think is a FAB tune comes on. I imagine Fancy and BAM and new friends at Les Caves…everyone is bouncing, pulsating and sweating to a not so new tune but who cares anyway, ‘Where Them Girls At’ …well, I know where them girls are not. Them girls may be with Harry at Bijou or even Rum Kitchen but them girls are certainly not at the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s. Unless they name the third heir to the throne Roy…which is possible I suppose, but even then, I somehow doubt it. No caves for this baby boy.
Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. May your little boy be blessed as any other baby with love, luck and health. As for my not so little one anymore, as if the message wasn’t loud and clear enough, here is what I found on my bedside table this evening…seriously. If you can’t read it, it says ‘Mummy’s Songs are Rubbish !!’. (C1’s exclamation marks, or ‘points’ as C1 would say)… Rubbish…as in garbage…trash. I see. Music fit for a king but certainly not for C1.
For the rest of you Royal Babes this summer…dancing with or without your ‘gunt’ showing at Les Caves du Roy…or somewhere else…anywhere else for that matter…DANCE !!! and don’t ever stop. No matter what age. No matter what size. Dance like nobody is watching and if they are…WHO CARES! DANCE EVEN MORE!
Safely and responsibly …of course. At all times.